HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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