In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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