thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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