Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
