it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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