But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize