When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
