And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize