in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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