Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
