You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
