I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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