Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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