He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
