Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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