Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
