Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
