idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
