I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
