is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
