Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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