No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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