I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
