In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
