He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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