where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
