fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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