Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
