Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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