i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
