k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
