seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
