Are we in a gay sports bar?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You've changed since you got that strap on
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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