Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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