bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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