I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize