We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
