So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
