I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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