i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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