3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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