are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
