id be glad to
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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