Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Two words: blizzard sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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