is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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