Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
thus making me awesome and them whores
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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