pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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