She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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