Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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