Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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