I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
