Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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