glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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