we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
