I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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