we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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