so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
