How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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