He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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