i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
