You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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